How to Have the Best TV Thanksgiving Ever
Tired of turkey? Put out with potatoes? Craving something a little different for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner? We may be able to help!
As you probably already know, food and TV have always gone hand-in-hand. There is literally a type of meal called a TV dinner, specifically meant for watching TV while you eat it. This year, while you’re gathered with your family to give thanks for all the Netflix shows you get to watch on your giant flat screen, why not partake in an actual TV-themed dinner?
Yes, we here at E! News have put together a TV-related menu that will titillate your taste buds and surely impress every single one of your unsuspecting guests with not only your cooking, but your TV knowledge. Get ready to have your mouth water!
Approximately 8 cups of coffee (Gilmore Girls)
Sure, lots of TV characters drink coffee and the Gilmores are obsessed with many other foods, but you’re going to need that caffeine to stay up all night to watch the new episodes, so you might as well just pull a Lorelai and replace your blood with as many cups of coffee as you can drink.
Snake Juice (Parks and Recreation)
From the official website of the Snakehole Lounge: “a delicious blend of many kinds of alcohol, coffee, sugar, and ingredients.” Bababooey.
Red Wine (Scandal)
If Snake Juice ain’t your jam, take a page out of Olivia Pope’s book and grab the biggest glass you can find.
Cheesy Blasters (30 Rock)
You know how it goes—you take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza, you’ve got cheesy blasters! Thanks, Meatcat.
Fries Quatro Queso Dos Fritos (Psych)
The ones where they inject potatoes with a four cheese mixture, fry them three quarters of the way, pull them out, batter them, fry them again, and then serve them with bacon and an ancho chili sour cream. You know that’s right.
Thanksgiving Cheese Dogs (This Is Us)
Roast a hot dog in the flames of a furnace, wrap it in Kraft singles and then roll it in crushed up Saltines. Tears will be flowing, so make sure there are plenty of tissues handy at the table.
Giant soft pretzel (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)
When we say giant, we mean gigantic. Big enough for a woman to sit in.
Eggo Waffles (Stranger Things)
Serve them straight out of the box to make Eleven proud.
Yams (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Bonus points if they’re riddled with arrows, because after all, Thanksgiving is a sham. A sham with yams. A yam sham.
Mrs. Eriksen’s Secret 7 Layer Salad (How I Met Your Mother)
It’s a staple of Eriksen family gatherings which includes approximately 16 cups of mayonnaise, along with bacon bits, shredded carrots, purple cabbage, Funyuns, gummy bears, potato chips, and guacamole. Yum!
Tossed salad and scrambled eggs (all over your face) (Frasier)
We don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs, but they’re calling again. What is a boy to do about such a nonsensical theme song?
Rum Ham (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
Soak a ham in some rum—or better yet, inject a ham with some rum, and then hit the Jersey shore for a quick sunbathe. Eating your drinks? That is genius!
(If, for some reason, you’re not up for drinking, go for a milk steak, accompanied by raw jelly beans.)
The Sauce (New Girl)
You may have to wrestle Nick Miller for the recipe, but we know it involves bologna, mayo, Matzah, and “a murder of peppercorn.”
Lee Harris (American Horror Story)
An ear? A bit of leg, perhaps?
Beef Trifle (Friends)
Who cares if Rachel wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good! For the vegetarians, there might be some floor cheesecake left if you hurry.
Cherry Pie (Twin Peaks)
Twin Peaks may be a damn dangerous small town, but Diane, if you ever get this way, that cherry pie is worth a stop.
Muffin Tops (Seinfeld)
The tops are the only part that matters, as long as they’re fresh out of the oven. The stumps are garbage and don’t even deserve to exist.
Waffles covered in whipped cream (Parks and Rec)
We already put Parks and Rec on this menu, but we don’t care! Waffles, friends, work!
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.