There’s neither honesty, manhood

Nor good fellowship in thee,

And gentlemen in England now a-bed

Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap

Whiles any speaks that fought with upon St Crispin’s day.



Don’t hold your manhood cheap, but cherish and respect it, for it just may very well take you throughout this life. It was USA President Theodore Roosevelt who said, “Walk softly and carry a big stick, you will go far.” Manhood has always been a characteristic respected in men for centuries and even Shakespeare alluded to it in his quote above, not once but twice, even accusing men of holding their manhood cheap.

Manhood is not to be trifled with, and any man without manhood is less than a man as he falls woefully short. Manhood means bravery, guts, fortitude, never backing down, machismo, fortis from Latin, or fuerte from Spanish.

Manhood means that you’re no longer a boy, but a man, and a man who holds not only his fate, but his manhood in his hands. When I was a child I spake as a child, now that I’m a man I act as a man. That’s loosely from the Bible.

Manhood also means virility, and a man with great manhood knows how to not only be of service to women, but satisfy their needs too. It is impossible for a man to satisfy a woman if he is bereft of manhood.

But wait a minute, what am I referring to here, manhood or man hood? Well, it’s a little bit of both, as you can’t have one without the other. Remember what Shakespeare said in the quote, ‘Do not hold your manhood cheap.’ Cling to it tightly. We’ll find out how, right after these responses to ‘Sexual shenanigans’.


Hi Tony,

Let’s flip the coin, and the scenario is that the wife is going on a trip and asks her best friend to look after the husband in her absence, cook and clean, etc. Will the friend take advantage of the situation and make out with the husband? In most cases I would say that friend remains loyal and there are no shenanigans. I believe men are more wired to succumb to sexual temptation than women are. In this scenario, however, the husband will make an attempt to seduce the friend’s wife and if unsuccessful, there will be hell to pay when the friend tells the wife what transpired during her absence.




Mek dem gwaan. Any man or woman who asks their friend to look after their spouse is either an idiot or really wants to test temptation. I don’t care who the person is, if you even put parson and nun together for an extended period of time they’ll either go missionary or be on their knees, and not to pray either. It’s human nature, and temptation is usually stronger than resistance.



Manhood can be defined in different ways, it can either be an adjective or a noun, but interestingly, both are inextricably intertwined. Manhood, adjective, denotes strength, power, bravery, while the noun manhood is pretty much the same, but you can touch it. Remember, walk softly and carry a big stick.

But the noun is also known by different names, such as phallus, schlong, dick, member, boy, prick, cock, knob, tool, dingaling, and many others too numerous to list here. Oh yes, it’s also known as hood, hence the moniker manhood. But what is the right and proper name?

Listen, I did extensive research when I expounded on the magical vagina, so it’s only fair that I give equal opportunity to the manhood. Sadly, I couldn’t find the male equivalent of a gynaecologist, so I had to rely on interviews from male and female subjects.

It can be the pride and joy to men, or it can bring shame and embarrassment, all depending on the dimensions of course. Manhood can be envied or it can be pitied, depending on your perspective.

Sure, they say that size does not matter, but don’t believe them, as they only say that to comfort those with diminished manhood. It was once said, “The measure of greatness is not found on a yardstick.” But this is countered by the previous quote, “Walk softly and carry a big stick.” Which do you prefer?

No man with diminutive manhood has ever taken away the woman of a man who is blessed with considerable manhood. That is a historical fact, and for that reason many men have suffered from manhood envy.

“Why are you crying, Peter?”

“My wife left me for a man with more manhood then me.”

That’s the end of that story, for from ancient times, manhood was always not only respected, but revered and even glorified by men and women too. Roman soldiers were ranked and respected because of their manhood, and men with no manhood were relegated to clean the stables and do woman’s work.

Manhood invokes strength, power, fortitude and this also has ethnic undertones. It’s a historical fact that many black men who were lynched back in those days also had their manhood desecrated and severed from their bodies. Did this give rise to the term penis envy?

Yes, some nationalities are bestowed with bountiful manhood, and it’s a well known fact, or should I say, open secret, that some tourists visit our shores in search of manhood in Jamaican men. In the same way that men visit other countries looking for thrills from women, females come here seeking the power of manhood from our men. Sounds dread, but it’s true.

There’s this joke about this woman who went to her doctor complaining, “Doc, when my husband makes love to me I can feel it up in my heart.”

“So what should I do, reduce his manhood?” the doctor asked.

“No doc, just move my heart,” she replied.

Well, that may work for her, but men blessed with too much manhood can pose a huge problem for some women in the long term. Just like how the inflated egos and overblown sense of self can prove to be a deterrent in a relationship, so can an over inflated manhood scare away women.

There used to be a hardware store years ago that had as its slogan, ‘Have we got wood’, referring to its vast supply of lumber. Well, I still remember a media colleague of mine who was also bestowed with that slogan. Needless to say he couldn’t maintain any long-term relationship with any woman, as most women are comfortable with cedar or pine trees rather than giant California Redwoods. You catch my drift.

There’s a calypso song about the big bamboo. It’s a ticklish balance. Now, I don’t know what direction your mind is taking you, but the definition of manhood is the quality traditionally associated with men, such as strength, courage and sexual potency. It also says, ‘The state or period of being a man rather than a child.’ So the saying is true, “You can’t send a boy to do a man’s job.”

Yes, childhood is just not the same as manhood and comes up short every time. Manhood has such a nice, strong ring to it, and when Shakespeare said to take it in hand, he knew what he was talking about.

“Why are you smiling?”

“I just took my manhood in hand.”

Being a man is important, but even more important is growing into manhood. Sadly there are many males nowadays who are bereft of even more than manhood, some would say that they lack testicular fortitude.

Does testicular fortitude go hand in hand with manhood? You bet it does, as just like love and marriage, or a horse and carriage you can’t have one without the other as they’re both part of the package. When someone accuses a man of having no testicular fortitude, he’s really saying that he has no manhood.

“Come on man, show some courage, have some balls.” Sportsmen play with their balls all the time, from basketball, football, bowling balls, cricket balls, tennis balls, ping pong balls, golf balls. But all those balls are useless without manhood.

More time.



Footnote: I still don’t get it, I still can’t understand why some people, even after seeing the horror, death and devastation that this COVID-19 has brought upon the world, with the USA having over 100,000 deaths and countless thousands extremely sick, still take it lightly. People still keep parties, hide and go to the beach or river, still congregate in groups by the hundreds. Is it that they do not care, or think that they are immune to the virus? I just don’t understand it. On a lighter note, the news reports never cease to amuse me. Heard on TVJ and CVM news, “ The passengers debarked from the ship,” and “They were seen carrying their luggages to the quarantine area.” Then to cap it off, “Everything grinded to a halt.” Ah bwoy.

Now you can read the Jamaica Observer ePaper anytime, anywhere. The Jamaica Observer ePaper is available to you at home or at work, and is the same edition as the printed copy available at http://bit.ly/epaperlive

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