It is meant that noble minds
Keep ever with their likes;
For who so firm
That cannot be seduced.
That cannot be seduced? Give me a break, there is not a woman alive who cannot be seduced. All that it takes is the right man to dole out the lyrics, croon the song and do the right things that will pick the lock of pleasure. “A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou by my side,” said Omar Khayyam. Well, maybe it requires a little more than that nowadays, perhaps a patty and a coco bread and a box drink.
All women, deep down, want to be seduced, although they would never admit it. “Come woo me, woo me, for I am in a holiday humour and like enough to consent.” See, that’s from Shakespeare’s As you like it, and shows exactly what’s on the woman’s mind as she invites courtship, wooing, seduction.
To woo, court, put argument to, face, all are one and the same thing that lead to the ultimate destination — conquest. Yes, the art of seduction is intended to culminate in the woman consenting and succumbing to the wiles of the man.
Unlike that lady who told the man outright that he was to come and seduce her, for she was in the mood and would most likely consent, most women are not so forthright, so bold, so forward, but prefer to play the hard to get game, be coy, teasing, coquettish. At least they used to back in the day.
Men had to figure it out, tiptoe through the minefield to see who would be most likely to consent and play their cards right. Seduction, that’s my art today, right after these hard responses to ‘Manhood’.
Just as women get checked by their gynaecologist, men should also get checked, especially as they age, on their privates by their urologist. But I digress. Manhood can be described as the maturity of a boy into adulthood, both mentally and physically. But those boys cannot compete with more mature men with footlongs, and I don’t mean hot dogs. Then there is manhood complex where men tend to ejaculate prematurely. There may be no medical cure, but boys and men with those issues will just have to take matters into their own hands.
What is this obsession that men have with their manhood? Frankly I am not impressed. Whether you are referring to the verb or the noun, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I have experienced a few and as far as I am concerned, I can take it or leave it.
There was a time when women had to be courted, wooed, seduced, which meant that men had to master the art of seduction. It was no “Hey gyal, come ya, mi waan deh wid you.” Seduction, yes, it was an art, and men who mastered that craft would have their fair share of women and didn’t have to possess dashing good looks either. As long as he’s mastered that art, women would beat a path to his bed.
I’m sure you’ve seen some men who aren’t really gifted in the looks department, but always seem to have a bevy of beautiful women at their beck and call. That’s because they mastered the art of seduction.
Back in the day it started with lyrics, and any man who had the right words had one foot in the bedroom door of the woman he set his sights on. Remember that I used the word ‘face’ when it came to wooing a woman? Well, from that verb, came the noun, Faceman. A faceman was a ChaCha Boy, or LaLa Boy, basically a man who had his way with the ladies, a lothario who mastered the art of seduction. Those were the guys with the lyrics, the guys who got all the girls. Alas, they are a dying breed.
Smooth lyrics are not new, as the following from back in the day shows:
“For which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with?”
“For your lovely sake, give me your hand and say you will be mine.”
“I dedicate myself to your sweet pleasure.”
Those were all from Shakespeare’s plays and are as old as dirt, but modern man, especially Jamaican men, had their own sweet lyrics also:
“Heaven must have lost an angel, for here you are with me on Earth.”
“I love you more than cook food.”
“Baby, you pretty like money.”
All those and more came from the lips of men and are the lyrics that go into the art of seduction. But there has to be more, for mere words alone cannot seduce a woman. Deeds have to follow. “Dumb jewels often in their silent kind, more than quick words, do move a woman’s mind,” said Shakespeare. In other words, jewellery will get to her more than mere words.
The man has to play his cards right, know when to hold and know when to fold, for only fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and the race is not for the swift, plus patient man ride donkey. He cannot be too syrupy with his lyrics for she will deem him to be corny. “Say what, my eyes are like limpid pools of desire, is what you saying to me, what are limpid pools anyway?” So he has to be the gentleman and treat her like a lady, and time his move to perfection.
Listen, a jockey doesn’t just jump on a horse and ride hard, he has to gauge the race, know when to cruise then know exactly when to make that final sprint to the finish. If the man takes too long, the woman may just get bored and tire of his goodness and find another jockey who knows when to rise up out of the saddle and dig in his spurs.
Also, remember that is not ‘wife’ the man looking, but only a seduction, so if he comes on too strong, she may very well see him as husband material, then dog nyam him supper, for he’ll be in deeper than he anticipated. “He told me all those wonderful words, did all those nice things for me, even introduced me to his parents, I thought he would propose next.”
That’s another thing, you cannot introduce parents while seducing, for that takes it to another level. There is seducing for sexual gratification and seducing for marriage. Both are very different.
They say that candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker, as it’s a known fact that if you ply a woman with alcohol, the act of seduction becomes even easier. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting getting the woman drunk and then having your way with her, but merely having a few drinks together to set the mood and take the edge off, as they say. In war time the warning was, ‘Loose lips sink ships,’ but in the art of seduction, a little liquor definitely loosens the lips.
Women love to dress up and women love to eat, so if you combine the two, have her dress up and take her out to eat, you’re on the highway of seduction. It’s COVID-19 time now, but things are opening up.
Remember, I said that everyone can be seduced, it simply boils down to whether the woman wants to be seduced or not. Puss and dog don’t have the same luck though, and many men have struck out with a woman, only to have a simple looking guy get through with her.
There’s never a lock that cannot be picked, all that it takes is an expert locksmith who is patient. I mentioned wife earlier, and you might not like to hear it, but there are wives who fall prey to seduction too. In fact, there are men who specialise in this art form and actively target other men’s wives, seduce them, and then move on. Don’t blame the seducer, for remember what I pointed out, a woman who does not want to be seduced, cannot be seduced.
A man will say and do all the right things, spend a lot of money on dining out, movies, dancing, flowers, jewels, liquor, only to hear the woman say, “You didn’t have to do all that you know, I planned to sleep with you anyway.”
The thing is though, a man cannot know her intentions, so he has to play the game of seduction. Just remember what they say, “A man chases a woman until she catches him.”
Despite all what I’ve said, the art of seduction used to be a great enterprise, but alas, it’s a dying craft, just like how Latin is a dying language. Sadly, those days are long gone, as women seem easier nowadays. All that a man has to do in these times is show up in a fancy car and she’ll fall right into his arms.
Footnote: As the country reopens we must still continue to be vigilant and not take COVID-19 for granted. So far we are doing well, and I am convinced that Jamaicans have a resilience and inner strength that combat this virus. Even with over 600 cases, there are very few people getting really sick, with almost all showing no symptoms at all, or very minor symptoms, not even knowing that they have it. We must give thanks for this, even as we see the devastation in other jurisdictions. God bless our country.
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